Where is God When ... You're Sinking

I know we all have been there. That sinking feeling you get when the waves of life start crashing around you.

There are family responsibilities, work duties, serving opportunities, church events, cleaning your house, keeping up with your friends, and those are just the regular things. If you throw in a sickness, a financial issue, a problem from your past or something else unexpected, it feels like you might drown at any moment.

That is how I have been feeling lately. Like I am sinking because never-ending waves have hit me over and over. I was fine with the normal waves, but when the unexpected ones hit, they felt like they were more than I could handle.

It's interesting that the Bible study I belong to has been studying Matthew 14 this week, the passage where Jesus' disciples are in a boat in the middle of the night battling enormous waves. And then what has been one of the most mysterious and memorable things that I think Jesus ever did happens - He walks on the water, has one of His disciples walk out to Him and then calms the storm.

I became a Christian when I was 24, and before that I hardly ever set foot in church. I certainly had never read the Bible. But I had heard about Jesus walking on water.

The way it had been referenced in my youth and early adulthood, was when I thought someone was really great, they "walked on water," not that they literally walked on water.

I didn't believe that Jesus literally walked on water because I didn't really believe that Jesus was anything more than a really nice guy who lived a long time ago. To me, the Bible was a story book that might have been true, but since so many of the stories seemed so far fetched, I wasn't sure that they were real.

So when I started going to church when I was 24, I had lots of questions. I ended up going to something called a seekers group for people who had questions about God and the Bible. It was a safe place to learn more about the Bible in an unintimidating way.

This walking on water thing really bothered me. I spent lots of time wondering how anyone could do that, if Jesus actually did or if it was just a nice story someone invented. So one night at the seekers group, in a moment I will never forget, I was bold and asked the pastor, "So what is up with this Jesus guy walking on water." I really wanted to know.

His answer shed some light on one of the biggest truths I would ever learn: if the Bible says it, it is true, even if we don't understand the details.

Now, years later, here I am studying something that intrigued me so much even as a child and seeker of God.

Now, I believe with all my heart that Jesus really did walk on water because I believe in God's power to do anything. And the best part about believing that, is that He has the power to do anything for me.

We can look at the disciple, Peter, who said, "Lord if it is you, let me walk on water," and think that maybe he was asking a lot of Jesus. Do we ever do things like that? Maybe it is more like, "Lord, if it is you, then let me get this job," or "heal my child from the horrible disease," or "give me a sign that lets me know what to do."

Did Jesus really need to let Peter walk to Him on the water to prove He was the Lord? No. But He did anyway. And sometimes, He gives us the signs or healings or other miracles we ask for. And sometimes He doesn't.

So why did He allow Peter to walk on the water to Him? There are many theories and schools of thought. To prove Himself, to show the disciples His power, to give encouragement. I thought it was interesting that Peter was the only disciple who asked to be shown Jesus' power. We might see it as doubt, but Peter was the only one brave enough, with enough faith, to step out of the boat.

So Peter steps out - in faith - and walks toward Jesus. But then his faith wavers and doubts creep in. He starts to sink.

Have you ever started to sink? Have you ever let doubts creep in and mess with your faith? Have you ever been a Peter?

I can so relate to Peter. It is almost like walking across a tall bridge. You can see the safety of the other side and you tell yourself not to look down. But then, you do look down, and you let fear come in.

I can see that God has great things in store for me. I believe God will use all things that have happened to me for my good because He loves me. I believe God can do anything.

But then I am walking across that bridge, and I look down. Well I know God can do it, but will He do it for me? My problem is so much bigger than everyone else's, I think. I can't see how to make it to the other side of this issue I am dealing with so how can God?

So when Peter doubts that he can make it to Jesus, he slowly starts to sink. And then the most amazing thing happens. Jesus doesn't laugh and watch him drown, he reaches down and lifts him out of the water. Peter's faith might have been weak, but it was enough to get him out of the boat, and that was still faith.

So here I am in the middle of a lake, feeling like I am sinking. And there Jesus is - and He has been there the whole time - reaching in and pulling me out. Even my weak faith can't separate me from His love. Romans 8:38 says, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Jesus said to Peter in Matthew 14:31, "You of little faith. Why did you doubt?"

I know Jesus has been asking me the same questions. "Michelle, you of little faith? Why do you doubt what I can do for you? Why do you doubt that I can do anything?"

I know that there are many reasons why Jesus asked Peter walked to him. I know there are many ways you can look at Jesus walking on water and what it means.

To me, it is showing me that I need to get out of the boat. To me, it means that Jesus is all powerful and can do anything - even walk on water. To me, it represents the way he loves me. To me, it shows that He is lifting me up and carrying me after I start to sink.

If you would have asked me 10 years ago how Jesus walking on water applied to me, I would have told you that it absolutely didn't. But now, as I write this, I feel like it was written just for me, to encourage me, to teach me and to show me that even when my faith is weak, Jesus is there to help me along.

Matthew 14:22-33 - "Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."